Friday, May 31, 2013

Not Fighting Fair

Not but a couple weeks ago, I lectured my 15 year old bonus about fighting fair. Last night I had to give myself that same lecture. 

I yet again took something the wrong way, still not use to the love behind words rather than spitefulness. My feelings were hurt, I felt ugly and unattractive despite losing over 100 lbs. I lashed out at the one person I wouldn't ever want to purposely hurt. 

We all do it, lash out at our kids being ugly. They lash out at us out of hurt or misunderstanding. Doesn't make it right, and it hurts all the same. We look at that person like they were the last person we ever expected to hurt us with words. 

I've asked for forgiveness; from him, myself but most importantly prayed to God for forgiveness. Also to humble my heart to the love given to me, that I take it as intended. That my love could continue to love me despite my short comings just like God loves me. 

All I can do is do better, and be a better example. I still screw up just like every one else, we never stop learning. Don't beat yourself up, live the forgiveness to yourself that you ask of others.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Love like only a 4 year old can.

My family is the definition of big love. We are the first to fight with each other, the first to whoop some behind if an outsider dare does it.  It's child like love. So fierce, nothing can stop it.

Last night, while at the ball park, my youngest showed me he is mine. Another kid about 2 years older than him said he hated me. There was no reason for said words. Brayden quickly came to tell me what the other kid said, then told me he was going to get that kid. I tried to explain to him that it didn't matter what anyone else said; as long as he loved me that was all that mattered. Nope those were empty words with him, he took off running enlisting the help of his older brother.

As I'm running behind him, scared of what was fixin to go down I couldn't help but be proud. That kid loves me, really loves me. I finally caught him as he was throwing the first punch. That kid can run fast with those little legs. I then explained, again,  all that matters is he loves me.

More times than not, I love like a 4 year old. I react first, then think about my actions. Nobody messes with my family, no one. I'll go deep in the dirt to defend any last one of them. I might get mad at them, but don't you dare.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Trust...a tricky word

Having been cheated on more times than I care to count any more, even with my best intentions I can be insecure. 

My ever loving husband doesn't worry, he knows he has lots of girls that want him. He calls that trust, I call that having a big head. I say that very lovingly babe, honest.

Trust really isn't about the other person, it's about you trusting yourself enough to know that no matter what happens you will be ok. Cheating isn't a reflection of you, it's a reflection of them and their character.

He's right though, the street goes both ways. I am one hot momma only getting hotter. There are plenty of men, but only one I want to share my world with.  Plus, there's only one I think that deserves me.  Well if he goes another direction, that's his issue not mine. 

So instead of worrying about other men looking, and dressing down so they won't;  I'm going to flaunt it all but only for that one man, who knows I'm not going any where.  He deserves the hot me, heck, so do I!

I'm just going to pretend any women he talks to is ugly as sin and trust no matter what I'm ok and always will be.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Being a step mom is hard work!

Anyone who tells you being a step mom is a piece of cake, well I'm just gonna ask them "do you know where liars go?"

Sure, the love is a piece of cake or for me it is. I know that in Gods plan of letting us have free will, these kids were intended as mine from the beginning.  So when he entrusted my husband and kids to me the love instantly flowed. 

One of my bonus sons, and the reason this blog started, reminds me my job as step mom is well worth any frustrations.  He will tell me I'm silly for thinking I'm too fat for a bathing suit. He will make me practice his swing dance in the kitchen. A lot of times, he will tell me not to touch him. Occasionally he wants to sit on my lap. One night in particular he leaned in and kissed my arm.  You will find him constantly teasing me, out of love about being shooting star. I might blog about that after our Canada bear hunt.  Last night I chased him, he was surprised how quick I could run. I told him, I warned you not to make a fat girl mad, she can catch you. The heartiest laugh came out and he said "you're not fat". 

He reminds me, that no matter how I see myself, he sees me in my purest form. Not afraid to call me out if I'm being to emotional, but quick with praise as well. 
This kid reminds me that being a 'step' mom is a huge blessing.

Did I say being a step mom was hard? Hmmm, it's rewarding and no different than being mom. I'm blessed, truly blessed. 

Saturday, May 18, 2013

A servants heart

My parents raised us girls with a servants heart. We didn't have a lot growing up during my younger years,  my dad was a self employed tv repair man. Even with that being the case we were taught to give of ourselves how we could to be a blessing to someone who needed it. 

There was always room and love for every and any child in our life. It's just another of Gods graces that has constantly flown through our lives.  Being able to love and care for everyone, like God loves and cares for us.

As a mom and stepmom, which I see no difference, I love all my kids equally. That means I will get on them when needed, but always love them no matter what.

One of my step children questions how I could already love them. In my eyes God gave me a beautiful gift with my husband and his 4 boys. When I said yes, and took vows to love and honor him, those vows were made to his children too.  They instantly became mine, and as God would have me, I love my children as he loves me. He doesn't just love me occasionally or when I'm being good. He loves me unconditional. That is a true gift of love, which I inspire to pass on to each of my children.

Monday, May 13, 2013

It's Road the tractor, not rode the tractor.

To those of you who know me, this wont surprise you in the least. For being smart, I can be really dumb sometimes.

The first time I heard Kendall say he had to road the tractor, I thought he was saying he had to rode the tractor. I thought oh my, he really is country. You ride not rode the tractor. Thank God, I never said what I was thinking!

So this weekend, I had to follow him while he roaded the tractor to the field. It clicked!! He really does road it, not rode it! :)

Little slow to catch on sometimes, but I get there.  Maybe the yuppy will take longer to wear off than I thought...

Friday, May 10, 2013

A Mother's Day Dare...

I recently read another blog about the Mother's Day Dare. I came across it after searching if it was appropriate for a new spouse to say Happy Mothers Day to an Ex-wife.

In this blog, the writer dared you whether you are the ex or new wife to give each other Happy Mothers Day and offer a KISS (keep it simple silly) thank you.

This really got me to thinking. You extend a hand of openness not even questioning how its received, who does it benefit? The kids. Who regardless of how you feel should be a huge priority after your commitment as a couple. If you didn't think about the kids in your equation, I challenge you are in the relationship for for the wrong reasons.  It allows God to work in your life. You are treating the other person how he would treat you. It's his grace in action.  

The kids already sent their mom a card, so I sent a text today on blind faith. Guess what? We've been talking. She in turn told me Happy Mothers Day and told me she appreciates me loving her boys. 

I challenge you to take the dare. Put your children first and with good intentions. You might be surprised how you are blessed in return.  

You don't have to be best friends, but you do owe it to your kids to co-parent in a respectable way. She did go through the labor of birth, she's owed some respect for that. Otherwise, you wouldn't be in the position you are in. 

Aunt Francis always said find one thing in everybody you meet, to love and see beautiful.

Happy Mother's Day to ALL mothers, in whatever capacity you serve. They are our future.

Where does a yuppy farm girl come from?

A yuppy farm girl, is a girl who grew up in town her whole life. She got on and meet the farmer of her dreams.  This match quickly took her from 4 kids to 8.  The Brady Bunch we are not.  Seven boys, and 1 girl. Life is never dull!

The yuppy farm girl, jokingly was started between my bonus son Hunter and I.  Can you tell we love Duck Dynasty?  He thinks the yuppy will never wear off. I'm here to prove him wrong.

Jump in the tractor with me as I navigate the field of being a mom, a stepmom, and learning to be the farmer's wife.