Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Reflections of the stepmom about the words she speaks to herself and others

When I first started talking to my now husband, and knew it was getting serious I asked him the question of what kind of stepmom he wanted for his children.  Knowing myself and how I respond to life, I knew if he didn’t want a stepmom who was going to be present and in everyone’s business than I was not the girl for him.  I’m not the type of person who can sit back and not have something to say or do.  It often gets me in trouble, but it’s me.  

Little did I know that on this journey even early on, I am realizing there are some things I have to just sit back and keep my mouth shut.  I say that after seeing the pain in my husband’s eyes after his ex has done something that hurts the emotional well- being of my step children, and I forget he is dealing with it to and lash out at him because of her.  While I have every right to thoughtfully say how I feel and see how it’s best handled, I have no right to lash out at him because he married and divorced her and now I have to deal with her. Just a fact, jack!

Being a stepmom is a lot of reflection.  I make mistakes, and I have to own those mistakes.  It shows my stepchildren and my husband that I am human.  I talk a lot about unconditional love and loving them as God loves me, and my whole family is a lesson in that.  Each day I am given a new opportunity to learn, love and grow in the awesomeness that God has created for me.   No folks, you are never done until you die.  

The lessons are hard ones to swallow sometimes.  When I look at them from the angle of where I’m supposed to and not the harshness of it, I’m blessed beyond measure that God trusts me to learn these lessons with my forever husband and 8 children.  

People life is what you chose to make of it.  Is it really the situation or the way you are looking at it?