Thursday, September 26, 2013

Bio kids vs Step kids - a little reflection time

My children I gave birth to, got the raw end of the deal if you ask me. I was such a control freak, expecting perfect creatures at every moment. The thought of them getting dirty and not being able to change immediately terrified me. Most of their growing up years, I was depressed and weighed over 300 lbs. I was too tierd to ever be as good as I needed to be as a mom. My dad would call it being lazy and he's right.

After the end of a 12 year marriage spending the last two years apart, I started working on myself. Happiness started coming back to my life and the weight dropped. The energy levels of losing 125 lbs is unbelievable. You start to realize just how much of life you missed.

Knowing after the failure of 2 marriages, you better be really specific with what you ask for from God. I laid it out, the exact man I wanted in my life. One month after my divorce I first met my now husband. We thought we were too far apart to make it work. So we just went on our way, a month later I emailed him just seeing how his life was going and if he had found anyone yet. Almost a year later now, we are married and have one big blended family.

Back to my point, with my husband I also was blessed with 4 step kids. What my step kids don't realize is how laid back I can be with them. When dad gets uptight I can just sit in reflection and remember how I use to be when my oldest 3 were growing up. My mom said its a lot like being a grandparent. You get to love and spoil them but for the most part you aren't responsible for the upbringing before you.  The only part not like a grandparent is I don't have the option to give them back. Mind you I never would.

Not long ago, we went on a fishing trip. Three of the kids decided they didn't want to fish but wanted to swim. I let them get in the water fully clothed and the youngest in his Spider-Man undies. With my children I gave birth to, I would have fussed about getting everything dirty, because of no towels or change of clothes.  Yes boys, I know it's not fair.

My main point I guess, is live life. Don't be so uptight you miss the truly fun times to just enjoy each other. Kids clean up and so do vehicles. Life is so short, and Karma is real. It doesn't always smack you in a destroy your life kinda way. Sometimes it shows you the mistakes you made in the past, and how much better you could have done things. Those lessons other people can't see but you feel deeply. 

Enjoy life!